Military Appreciation Is More Than a Month

Every May, we see the flags, the discounts, and the social media posts thanking service members. And those gestures matter. They truly do, but military life, the service, the sacrifice, the waiting, the resilience, doesn’t begin on May 1st and end on May 31st. It goes so much deeper than that. For so many of us, myself as a military spouse included,  this is our everyday lives. The sacrifice does not end in May, therefore neither should the appreciation. 

National Military Appreciation Month is usually celebrated with parades, discounts, and social media posts thanking those who have served for their sacrifices. Yes, these are thoughtful gestures but do people really understand the sacrifices that go into being a service member? Active duty often means long deployments. These men and women leave their lives behind and are gone for several months at a time. Just to come back home, continue training, and head back out on another long deployment. I have seen many friends go through back to back deployments where their spouses were gone overseas more than they were home. Yes, this is his/her job and they signed up for it but that does not mean the sacrifice does not weigh heavy on the mind and heart of each person affected. Service members serve with pride in their work but it comes at a cost. Birthdays, anniversaries and holidays are far too often celebrated from across the country or even world from one another. 

As a military spouse, I have lived this reality firsthand. My husband has missed so much over the years. He left for his last training when our oldest son was 4 years old and our baby was only 4 months old. That training lasted a long eight months. My husband missed everything, our anniversary and my birthday, but more importantly the milestones that would never happen again. Our baby learned to roll over, crawl and was walking by the time my husband came home, luckily, just in time for his first birthday. And my sacrifice, as the parent and spouse that holds down the home base when dad is gone, is a big ask as well. Having a baby and a young child at home is hard enough, but doing it alone felt impossible at times. I spent so many sleepless nights up alone, rocking the baby through a night of teething pain. Trying to balance the housework, the baby, and still give our other child the attention he needed as well was a lot to manage alone. The mental toll this took on my husband was heartbreaking knowing he wanted to be here, to watch our children grow, and to help me, but he had to train to be able to support his country. This sacrifice echoes the experiences of many other families across the country.

There is so much uncertainty that comes with military life. The biggest uncertainty comes from the unknown as the military is constantly changing. There is never a guarantee that home will be in one spot as most families have to move every 2 or 3 years. Yes, service members get some say in his/her orders but in reality the military is going to send the service member where he/she is needed the most. Every time the military sends us somewhere new we have to start over in a new place. Building a village takes time and to have to rebuild every 2 to 3 years takes a toll, especially if children are involved. It is a big sacrifice for everyone, it means new jobs and schools, having to make new friends and house hunting but also having to pack up and say goodbye to the life you have built over the past few years. 

Military life and sacrifice does not exist just within the month of May, so as a community, we should continue to show our support and gratitude all year long. It is because of these men and women who sacrifice so much in their daily lives that we are able to enjoy and experience all the freedoms in our own lives. We live so close to a military base so chances are many of us have friends or family connected to the military in some way. Check in on your person and see how he/she is doing, show them your appreciation throughout the year and let him/her know that you see their sacrifices. Furthermore, if your friend or family member is on deployment check in on his/her family. Offer to babysit and give the other parent a break, stop by with dinner and let him/her vent to you, or simply just send a “hey how are you doing” text message once in a while. Small gestures go such a long way in letting someone know that he/she is seen and being thought about.

 Military appreciation shouldn’t live only in a calendar month. It should live in our awareness, our gratitude, and our willingness to understand the sacrifices made. Not just by those in uniform, but by the families who stand beside them as well.